That fine line

I believe it was the late, great Johnny Cash who said, "I walk the line."

Or maybe it was me. I'd have to check my notes...because, My Friends...I walk a line...frequently.

That fine line between 'preparedness' and 'controlfreakedness'.

That fine line between 'procrastinate 'til it hurts' and 'micromanaging the micromanager of micromanagement'.

I don't know about you, but I'll be going along really well for a while and then BAM!

I'll trip.

Over to the dark side. It's like I'm Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader sometimes!

Like one day, I'm capable of preparing for things. I like being one step ahead of the game. I like to know what's coming up. I'll ask for help, I'll take instruction, I'll train. So I'll be ready...

And then there's those days where I feel like I'm striding confidently around a space ship barking orders to others in my James Earl Jones voice and laying the smack down on anyone who gets in my way!

That's usually Thursdays.

(snort!)

Okay...enough Star Wars Metaphors.

I want to control the future. Did you know that I've tried to a couple of times?

Once to my advantage...and once...well, it didn't work!

Here's what happened:

My sis and I were in the backseat of the family car. The radio was on. It was WLS out of Chicago. The DJ would do this thing where he'd announce that, "Coming up next...Elton John and Queen. We've also got Billy Joel on the way. Stay tuned!" and then go to a commercial.

Well, I don't remember where we were driving....but I. was. bored. And what better way to pass the time than to mess with Jill?

(I know. I need to re-read my entry from yesterday. But this was years before that happened!)

So, the DJ says that spiel with the 'coming up next thing'...and I see that Jill's not listening. At least, it doesn't appear that she's listening. So I say, "Hey, Jill! I'll bet that they (WLS) will play a Billy Joel song next!"

And she looks at me like I'm crazy.

Which she did a lot when we were growing up....anywhooo...

The commercial plays and then a Billy Joel song comes on. And the look on my sister's face was PRICELESS!

She looks at me like I'm crazy. Only now it's...."Carrie is spooky crazy"...not "Carrie is annoying crazy".

It was cool. My Friends, I just nonchalantly yawned and turned to look out the window...like it was no. big. deal.

Flash forward a couple of years and again, I tried to control the future. And again, it involved my sister.

(Ohh...I hope she's not reading this. You know, I don't know if I ever told her about this!!)

We went on a vacation one summer and there was this boy there. And he liked my sister. (Which means that he did not like me!)

Well, I got home from school one day a few weeks later and found that he had written a letter to my sister. She wasn't home yet...so I opened it.

I know.

And read all about his undying love for her.

I KNOW!

And, as if that wasn't awful enough....I wrote him back...as Jill...and told him that I (Jill) wasn't interested in him and that he should write to Carrie instead.

I KNOW! I KNOW!!!

I never heard from him.

My friends, we cannot control the future. But...we can't put off the future either. You're gonna walk that line.

It's good to pay attention. To listen to others. To 'do your homework'. Preparing makes you more disciplined and ready to face the future confidently...regardless of what will happen.

It's not good to think that you can change the future. You can't. You can only change yourself.