Some settling may occur...

Have you been in the cereal aisle lately? There are literally 29485293435829385923952039 tremillion choices of cereal now...wow. Thinking too hard about it makes my head hurt.

When I was growing up, however, we had three choices. The BIG THREE.

Cheerios, Rice Krispies, and Corn Flakes.

Not necessarily in that order.

You know why?

Because those were the cereals that my Dad liked.

Us kids didn't really have any say-so in the matter....altho at some point I recall that Sugar Corn Pops entered the picture for special occasions...but it was mostly the 'three sisters' listed above.

You gotta eat 'em fast, people. Or they get soggy. Sigh. And I always wanted Apple Jacks...and never got 'em. And Lucky Charms....oh...I LOVE Lucky Charms! C'mon, they're magically delicious!! (Confession Time: you know, I'd eat them at my friend's house when I got to spend the night. Good times....(sniff) good times.) If my parent's ever found out that I did that...I'd have been in a world of hurt!

And while I'm on the subject...I'm not sure to this day why slightly milk-moistened Rice Krispies left on the side of a bowl will turn into a shellacked, tough-as-nails, glue substance...but we were trained to scrape the cereal down off of the sides into the milk. I believe that's because at one time it just became easier for Mom to throw the bowl away than to sandblast the Rice Krispies off....I'm not sure.

Hey, I am a cereal box reader. I'll sit there and munch and read everything on the box. When I was younger, it was to exercise my reading skills. And I noticed something...

Every box of cereal had the same statement in small print on the side of the box that said something to the effect of "contents may settle upon shipment...blah blah...net weight...blah blah...who cares?"

I guess it was for Moms (or Dads) who did the shopping and felt short-changed by the amount of cereal in the box? Again...I'm not sure. And as a kid, I didn't care.

As I've gotten older though, and have children of my own now, when I recall that statement...of settling...I see that cereal boxes contain a valuable lesson for us parents.

My son is in jr. high. Actually, both of my kids are in jr. high this year. It's been a rough year. (Those of you who've had a child or more in jr. high may send your cash donations to my post office box and I'll tell you right now that I appreciate your looks of sympathy. Those of you who have not had the pleasure of this experience...well, your time's a comin'!)

My son has been failing math since December. This has been a HUGE frustration for me. Especially when I learned that the failing is not because of a lack of understanding on his part...he just hasn't been turning in his homework.

Hm...well, his father and I have sat down with him and watched him do his math homework...and then still find out that he's not turned it in! I think to myself, "What do I have to do to get this kid to turn in his homework!?"

I've prayed about it. I've asked others to give me advice. I've asked others to pray about it. I've taken away every privilege from the boy (he can't even VOTE until he's 27!!), lectured him, etc....etc.

He doesn't seem to care about his math grade. I'm not sure how to make that happen.

Frustration indeed.

Yesterday afternoon though, he came home from school and said, "Mom! I've got some gooooood news!"

"Yes?" I say.

"I'm getting a D- in Math!"

WOOOOOHOOOOO!

Perhaps you saw the celebrations on the ten o' clock news. There were fireworks, shriner clowns, horses...I believe at one point the President himself made a speech. It was some party!

All for a D-.

Wow.

I struggle with being a perfectionist. I want my children to succeed in life. I want them to get good grades. What parent doesn't?

And I gotta tell you that this past couple of months with my son's math grade has been an awful time for me in my perfectionism. I've felt helpless and annoyed with him and just...awful.

But when I smiled at him and said, "Good job! I'm glad your grade is up!" and he smiled back at me, I realized something.

It's good to have standards. But expectations and control are a whole other ballgame, folks.

Our kids, at some point...don't want our three choices of cereal. They'll eventually buy their own.

And if we remember that 'some settling may occur during shipment'...if we remember that on this journey of life with them that they are not always going to do as we wish they would...if we can find it in ourselves to celebrate a D-...

well, I think we're better off.

Yes, we need to teach them things. Yes, they need to understand this and that.

But here's the deal...

They may not want their hair short.

They may not want to go to prom.

They may not want to go to college.

They may not marry the one we want them to marry.

They may not want to pursue that job situation we suggest.

They may not want to live close to us.

Kids make more and more choices on their own as they grow up. And I firmly believe that if we parents fight against those choices...because that's 'not the way we would do it!'...it'll be like eating a bowl of dry Rice Krispies.

Yuck.

We can't control them forever, folks! We can only choose the cereal for so long...and then they're picking out their own boxes...

Ah...cereal.

Settling...doesn't change the cereal itself...it just changes the way it may appear to us.

Is there anything you could maybe settle for with your kids?

Think about that while I get a bowl of Lucky Charms. Want some?