Sunday, August 9, 2009

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!!

Right now I'm listening to a current popular tune that I think would make an excellent roller skating rink song.

I wonder if anyone else has considered this? I could mention it to my daughter, but she'd just roll her 15 year old eyes at me and mumble something about how she needs to get my application filled out for the nursing home. She hates it when I bring up 70's-80's music.

Ah well. She'll appreciate me someday, right?

I was five years old the first time I put on a pair of roller skates. It was my birthday. They were the kind that you strapped to your shoes. I remember the feeling of exhilarated terror I felt as I careened around our kitchen, leaving deep nail marks in the countertop.

I really liked skating. My family would travel to Hoopeston frequently to skate at a rink there. I loved the music, the light show, the wooden floor. I remember thinking that when I grew up, I wanted to be one of the 'skating guards'...those teenagers with their whistles and their backwards skating ability. I remember how weird it felt to take off my skates at the end of the evening. That 'lighter than air' way your foot felt. Totally weird.

In junior high, the skating rink in Paxton became the place to go on the weekend for me. I put my big ol' comb in the back pocket of my white painter pants (they were SO COOL looking under the black light!) and I would feather my hair and carefully consider the boys there. Who might be a partner for the "Couples Only" skate? The Eagles or the Bay City Rollers would come over the speakers and we would skate around and around and check out who was making out in the Corner (it was never me!) and I was always surprised when it was time to go home.

Of course, once I had my driver's license, I didn't want to go skating much. And anyway, I think the rink was closed by then, so it didn't really matter.

After I had children, they received passes for the local skating rink. I remember putting on skates again for the first time in years and reacquainting myself with the wheels. It wasn't much different from when I was five...except now the nail marks were in the wall of the rink or the shoulder of a skating guard as I desperately attempted to stay upright.

'It was easier to skate when I was younger,' I remember thinking. 'This is risky business. I could break my wrist or something!'

I think we could all find something that was 'easier' when we were younger. I guess my question to you is: How are you handling the 'risky business' in your life? In most cases, age brings wisdom and there are things that I wouldn't do now that I'm older if you paid me cash money...just because they're too dangerous. Too risky.

However, there's that other side of risk. The safe side. And that, my friends, can be crippling. It can keep you from trying new things. Or trying old things. Like roller skating.

Take my advice. Grab that big ol' comb of yours, put on that old Bay City Roller album and take a risk today! Speaking of albums, I wonder if I can get my daughter to download some disco for me! Now that's risky!!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Truth be Told...

So...last week or so I started a small group study on this book Truefaced, which is about being real with people. And at about that same time I went to youth group with my kiddos and played Balderdash, which is all about lying to people.

As The Doors said so aptly, people are strange...aren't we?

On the one hand, we want people to accept us for who we are...warts (if you've got 'em...I don't!) and all. And on the other, we're always lying about something...(for instance, not having warts.)

Oh, you disagree? You're not a liar? You tell the truth all the time?

Well, I don't. I freely admit it. I find myself lying constantly...

To my son:

"Why no, Jake. There are no onions in that casserole. Now eat!" (it was an ONION CASSEROLE!!)

To my best friend:

"Your new haircut does not make your butt look big!" (sadly, she'd have a big butt regardless!)

To the girl scout:

"I've already bought two boxes of thin mints. Sorry!" (it was actually 7 boxes. And they were the peanut butter ones that I can never remember the name of...!)

We humans lie.

And one of the first lies we tell ourselves is this: Lying will 'fix' the situation.

Lying doesn't fix anything...in the long run. It has a tendency to complicate things, actually. But it's 'easier' to lie than to be honest sometimes. Isn't it?

"Who broke this vase?" "Not me! It was an alien..."

Kids can tell whoppers of lies, can't they? And why? To avoid getting into trouble, to avoid work, to avoid conflict.

I am a girl. And since girls are typically encouraged by society to avoid conflict, we are taught to do what? Lie.

We girls are taught to be 'kind' to people, aren't we? So we lie and say things to others in order 'to be nice'.

"That shirt looks good on you." "It's not you, it's me." "Your invitation must've been lost in the mail." "No, your feet aren't big. Size 13 is the new 6."


I'm going to cut in here and present the word "Tact" to you. Now tact is what we REALLY need to be taught. Boys and girls alike. And tact isn't about lying...or telling the truth. Tact is about timing.

A definition of tact is this: a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.

My tactful word is "interesting".

"Mmm...this liver pate' you've made for the first time has an interesting flavor."

"Interesting" is what I use when I am not sure that the truth is wanted by the other person or when I don't want to tell the truth and hurt someone 'at that moment'.

It's not lying. It's not truth. It's...well...avoidance.

For instance...the last thing a bride needs to hear on her wedding day is that white is NOT a good color on her.

Is it going to benefit her at all on that day to tell her that? No. The fact that she looks bad in white should've been pointed out months ago.

What I'm trying to say is that sometimes, conflict is a good thing to avoid. So tact comes into play.

However, tact is NOT supposed to replace truth. As I mentioned, the bride could've been told the truth earlier.

So is truth about timing, then?

Um...no.

Truth is about relationship...and we'll talk more about that later. Think about truth and lies, won't you? Right now, I have to um...do something else. This has been interesting...thanks for reading!