Truth be Told...

So...last week or so I started a small group study on this book Truefaced, which is about being real with people. And at about that same time I went to youth group with my kiddos and played Balderdash, which is all about lying to people.

As The Doors said so aptly, people are strange...aren't we?

On the one hand, we want people to accept us for who we are...warts (if you've got 'em...I don't!) and all. And on the other, we're always lying about something...(for instance, not having warts.)

Oh, you disagree? You're not a liar? You tell the truth all the time?

Well, I don't. I freely admit it. I find myself lying constantly...

To my son:

"Why no, Jake. There are no onions in that casserole. Now eat!" (it was an ONION CASSEROLE!!)

To my best friend:

"Your new haircut does not make your butt look big!" (sadly, she'd have a big butt regardless!)

To the girl scout:

"I've already bought two boxes of thin mints. Sorry!" (it was actually 7 boxes. And they were the peanut butter ones that I can never remember the name of...!)

We humans lie.

And one of the first lies we tell ourselves is this: Lying will 'fix' the situation.

Lying doesn't fix anything...in the long run. It has a tendency to complicate things, actually. But it's 'easier' to lie than to be honest sometimes. Isn't it?

"Who broke this vase?" "Not me! It was an alien..."

Kids can tell whoppers of lies, can't they? And why? To avoid getting into trouble, to avoid work, to avoid conflict.

I am a girl. And since girls are typically encouraged by society to avoid conflict, we are taught to do what? Lie.

We girls are taught to be 'kind' to people, aren't we? So we lie and say things to others in order 'to be nice'.

"That shirt looks good on you." "It's not you, it's me." "Your invitation must've been lost in the mail." "No, your feet aren't big. Size 13 is the new 6."


I'm going to cut in here and present the word "Tact" to you. Now tact is what we REALLY need to be taught. Boys and girls alike. And tact isn't about lying...or telling the truth. Tact is about timing.

A definition of tact is this: a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.

My tactful word is "interesting".

"Mmm...this liver pate' you've made for the first time has an interesting flavor."

"Interesting" is what I use when I am not sure that the truth is wanted by the other person or when I don't want to tell the truth and hurt someone 'at that moment'.

It's not lying. It's not truth. It's...well...avoidance.

For instance...the last thing a bride needs to hear on her wedding day is that white is NOT a good color on her.

Is it going to benefit her at all on that day to tell her that? No. The fact that she looks bad in white should've been pointed out months ago.

What I'm trying to say is that sometimes, conflict is a good thing to avoid. So tact comes into play.

However, tact is NOT supposed to replace truth. As I mentioned, the bride could've been told the truth earlier.

So is truth about timing, then?

Um...no.

Truth is about relationship...and we'll talk more about that later. Think about truth and lies, won't you? Right now, I have to um...do something else. This has been interesting...thanks for reading!