Tuesday, March 11, 2008

So long as you don't make a habit out of it!!

George Costanza: Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.

I just watched an episode of Monk. At one point Monk tells his therapist, "Actors make their living telling lies." And the therapist says, "Maybe actors are really telling the truth." And Monk shoots him this look...it's priceless.

Was it my four college learning years of theatre that taught me the fine art of lying?

Nope.

And you know what?

It's funny...my face tells the truth...even when my mouth does not. Just watch me sometime! It's like I can't really help myself. I'll tell you...for four years of college...intensive theatrical training...I got no poker face whatsoever...sigh.

"Do you like this shirt, Carrie?"

(Frowny face from me...I take a deep breath...run my tongue across my teeth...tilt my head)

"It's great."

(nnoo...no it is NOT great! It's an awful color! It's the wrong style for her body type! WHY DID YOU LIE TO HER?!)

"That's what she wanted me to say."

And the quote? From Seinfeld? George is a PRO at lying. Why? Because he BELIEVES THE LIE!

And that's where you can get into trouble, my friends...when you believe the lie. And good liars always find some way to believe the lie...

I think for us girls it's tough. We're taught at a very early age to be 'nice' to people...and that means learning tact. Except that sometimes...that idea of tact is coupled with 'white lies'...like the one I mentioned above...where no one is really "hurt" by the comment of ,'That shirt's great!"

The problem comes with practice. Once you begin telling lies...you can have a hard time stopping. They're so convenient! They can stop conflict from happening...they can keep you from getting grounded by your parents...they can make other people feel good about their blouse purchases...

I mean, where's the harm in that??

Just recently, I had a situation happen to me where I was asked a question. It was not a hard question to answer...but I knew my response wasn't the answer that the person wanted to hear. And I found myself fighting against that so much...that I said something really mundane...and left the room...without actually answering the question.

Although, I think that I DID actually answer the question...by not answering it...and I'm not convinced that was right either...but at least I didn't LIE. And that habit (because YES...it becomes a habit!) is one I've been working on for some time now...

Sometimes, my friends...hard things need to be said. Thinking that avoiding a difficult conversation by lying isn't really helpful. Not at all...

And don't even get me started on believing the lies that others tell you...that's a subject for another time.

Stop lying. Tell the truth. Mark Twain said that it's better to tell the truth...that way you don't have to remember anything later...

That's some good advice right there. And I'm not lying...

1 comment:

heiniger said...

Glad you got unstuck... : )

Just came from a chamber lunch where the speaker spoke about non-verbal communication and body language. One question she posed to the group was, if someone's body language doesn't match their words, which do you believe? Surprisingly, a few people said 'words'.