Sorting the stuff out is always the hard part.
I think I can do it though. UNNNNNNH!
Anything written? No? Hm....maybe I can't do it. What's going on? I've sat here at my computer for about five days...er, okay...five minutes...sorting through things...and part of me is focusing on the cleverness of my writing skills.
"AH HA! Now THAT would be a good line! Write that down, C.!"
Part of me is focusing on the readers...what do I want readers to walk away with, you know?
And then...there's this tiny, little part of me...
this little part of me that is jumping up and down and shouting something...but I can't quite make it out. Can you hear it?
"What? What's that? I can't hear you!"
I lean in...closer to this little bit of a me.
And I hear it. Man, I feel kinda like an elephant in a Dr. Seuss story...hm...
Can you hear it?
What it's saying is sobering. I mean, I hadn't even realized that I WAS doing that!
Did you?
What I heard that tiny part of me saying was this: Stop paying attention to the P's! Stop paying attention to the P's!
OH! Oh....sigh...I know exactly what that means. Sheesh, I've heard it enough...but, because you may not, and because you're my friends, I'll let you in on it.
"Stop paying attention to PRIDE and PEOPLE!"
(There's another book possibility...although I don't believe Jane Austen's title was exactly that! Snort!)
Pride...
and People.
Those two things can hinder my writing SOOOOO many times! I can't even begin to tell you, my friends...how they get in my way.
Ergh!
You know what? Pride is not the same as a healthy self image, okay? Pride tells me that I am great...that it's by MY power that anything good comes out of ME...and that I don't need anyone else because, by golly....I am awesome! ALL by MYSELF!
Now...don't misunderstand me. I.am.awesome. I can do good...and I am great.
That's not the issue. However, you gotta read the fine print. Really listen to Pride. There's just a little bit that Pride says that is twisted. And wrong. And a lie.
It is not by my power that anything good comes out of me...nope. Not by a long shot.
And...and Pride tells me that I don't need anyone else.
Sigh. Pride is so pig-headed.
Pride, you see, doesn't listen to that tiny part of me.
Pride likes her own voice WAY too much. And, Pride's got a loud voice...making it easy to 'tune out' that tiny part of me.
It's a shame. But Pride's not alone! There are People!
I start listening to other people too much. Focusing on what they think about me and my writing instead of listening to that little part of me. You see, I'm supposed to care about people...but it's not my job to make them happy. That's where I get stuck sometimes. Where it becomes a jangled mess of sounds...and voices.
Pride tells me I don't need anyone else. And the People chime in and yell, "Yes! Carrie, you don't need anyone else! You just need to listen to us! We know you!"
But....I'm not so sure I believe them. I mean, if they did know me so well...they'd shut up and listen to that tiny part of me...right?
My own "Who"...if Dr. Seuss doesn't mind...
You see, I DO need Someone. And my worth...my self image...should be totally focused on what my Who thinks of me...not Pride...not People. My Who.
I need to spend time with my Who...and listen to my Who. Because what happens when I do?
My Who's less hard to hear! And His message is loud and clear!
And that is not the end,
My dear, hard-hearing friend,
You...
You yourself...
You can have a Who, too!
No comments:
Post a Comment