I know...it's only September. I can hear you now..."C., you're as bad as the stores that have their decorations up as soon as the school supplies are sold in August!"
I know.
In fact, I'm listening to Christmas music right now.
And I'm working hard on the Christmas musical we're going to perform at church.
So you see, Christmas is on my mind.
And you know...when I get excited about something, I repeat myself.
Did I mention that Christmas is on my mind?
Okay...okay. Here's why. Really and truly.
I just finished reading "The Shack" by William P. Young. It's an amazing book. Seriously. I haven't been this excited about a read since 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows'.
And do you know why? It wasn't what I expected.
Which is, in fact, the beauty of it. I don't want to tell you all about the book...because I want to encourage you to read it for yourself. However, I will say that one (of the many!) ideas this book presents is the subtle difference between verbs and nouns.
Verbs are alive.
Nouns are dead.
Stop yawning! This isn't going to be a tiresome grammar lesson! But think about that for a moment.
Now think about Christmas.
Is your heart starting to clench? Did you begin to consider all the things you HAVE to do to get ready for it? The cost of the gifts, decorations, food? The get togethers where you have to see people you don't really want to see but you're expected to go....so you go...and ugh. 'C,' I can hear you say, 'I don't even WANT to think about Christmas!'
Why?
Simply moving a word from a noun form to a verb form has transformed how I think about Christmas...as well as other aspects of my life.
I've been thinking about this for the past couple of days. One thing I struggle with is expectations.
Expectations of myself...of others...of job situations...of people driving their Chryslers...of waitresses...and expectations of God.
I have a lot of those. And the expectations I believe God has for me.
Except that God is a verb...not a noun. "I am" not just "I".
Alive and moving.
So...expectations...which are a noun...are dead.
Instead...try 'expectancy'.
I think that's why we adults dread Christmas to the degree that we do. We are taking care of the expectations. Expectations of gifts for children. Expectations of parents who are planning dinners. Expectations of retailers regarding our spending. We have expectations about a Christmas bonus from our job to equal or be more than what we received the year before. We have expectations about the weather and snowfall.
We, as adults, are nouns. Dead.
But children....children are! They are expectant.
When I was a kid, we had an advent calendar that held a piece of candy. And each day we got a little closer to Christmas. Something wonderful was going to happen on Dec. 25th. We looked forward to it. Without expectations.
I think that's what we've lost! Oh sure, kids may have gift expectations...but they (for the most part) are expectant. Looking forward to what will happen.
There is energy there. In that expectancy.
Isn't it the same thing, C? I mean, expectations...expectancy...what's the diff?
Expectations follow rules. They bind us. They keep us from experiencing joy.
Expectancy however, is freeing.
It's about control, folks. And disappointment rarely shows up when one is expectant. But when one has expectations...like I did that certain Christmas morning when I got the wrong Adam Ant album...disappointment shows up and kills joy.
Expectancy allows joy to happen.
Joy to the World!
And so, as I think about God...instead of thinking I'm not meeting His expectations...I think...He's watching me expectantly...involved with my life...not just judging my actions...or inactions...but actively involved.
And me? Instead of expecting God to do this or that...I just...expect God!
Do you see what I mean? Can you feel that energy at all?
Hm...maybe it's just me. And that's okay. Because I don't really have any expectations about your response.
Oh! One more thing...by thinking in verbs...rather than nouns...there's a good chance I'll burn off some of those Christmas cookie calories, you know what I'm saying?
2 comments:
Yep... it really is a small yet significant shirt in our thinking. I wish that... or mabye there is a way with practice this does become more natural. idk... it seems like I can shift my thinking in one moment, but so quickly shift back. thanks...
OK, C, this post evoked many different responses for me:
1 - Christmas? We're talkin' about Christmas? I can't even think about Christmas until at least October.
2 - "Verbs are alive. Nouns are dead."
I call baloney. Without nouns, verbs have nothing to act on. They're just actions, with no object, no purpose, no direction.
3 - I truly enjoy taking care of the expectations at Christmas. It's part of the fun for me. So, while I haven't thought about Christmas yet, I do not dread it.
4 - I don't know if you can have expectancy without expectation. Granted, expectation can go beyond expectancy. Having not read the book yet, am I correct in the following definitions?
-- expectancy: looking forward to something happening
-- expectations: thinking that certain events or actions should happen
I'm trying to get to "kids are verbs are alive" vs. "adults are nouns are dead", so these definitions are my first attempt.
5 - "Expectations follow rules. They bind us. They keep us from experiencing joy."
You and I have had this discussion before. I think that you can get just as much joy from expectations that are met or exceeded as you can from having no expectations.
You also know my penchant for rules. I do try to stay away from legalism, but rules provide structure. In this topsy-turvy world, it's good to have some things you can count on -- for me, rules provide some of that stuff I can count on.
However, I agree with you that expectations can lead to disappointment. When you have every reason to expect that something will happen, and it doesn't, it can be crushing.
D
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