I went to my daughter's play rehearsal this evening. In an effort to save on some gas and to see her 'in action'.
I watched the students move a large set piece off of the stage in order to get ready to rehearse. At first, there were three of them trying to move it...and it wouldn't budge.
At one point I think someone said, "I can't hold onto this much longer. It's too heavy!"
And that got me to thinking some more about this idea of verbs and nouns and 'expectancy' vs. 'having expectations'.
I think we should live expectantly. I think that's what God does with us...just as The Shack mentioned.
I think we should change our expectations into expectancy...take them from the noun form that they are and turn them into action.
When I consider this idea as I think about how I relate to others...I'd much rather 'live expectantly' than 'have expectations'. They (expectations) seem 'heavy' to me...and carry with them the burden of the possibility of disappointment.
It's a good visual for me. This idea of my holding onto something tightly...to the point of white-knuckling. To hold onto a selfish expectation that life should 'go my way for crying out loud!'(you know...just for example), is like holding desperately onto a heavy set piece...wanting someone to come and take some of that weight away...to make that load lighter.
As I'm learning to embrace God's love for us (for me!) in such a way that...while God knows what we're going to do (and that, my friends...is my belief!)...and to consider that He is there...expectantly living with me...that He has this hope for what He's created...that He just....wants to be a part of my life...even when I do (or don't do) what He 'expected'...well, I think that's what grace looks like...
When I think about my relationships with difficult people...and how they have never (well...rarely, for sure!) met my selfish expectations of what they should be...and how distressed I get about that...the refreshing change of heart that happens when my trying to see them (to see you!)as the human being that God created and whom God expectantly watches with me...to remember that He's on my team...makes it a little easier for me to live expectantly...rather than grip so tightly onto those heavy expectations of mine...tenaciously holding onto them and then throwing them down when they disappoint me.
But that's just me...anyhoo...
Back to the rehearsal...
at one point, I heard some kid holler, "Hey, can I give you a hand?"
And that's what I think I hear God hollering to me...as my knees buckle under the expectations...those heavy, weighty objects that they tend to be. Expectancy moves me in the right direction. Having expectations just weighs me down.
"God! Grab that corner!" I hear myself say.
My friends, stop trying to carry it all yourself. Give God a hand...
and give yourself a hand too! You are so loved!!!
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2 comments:
I always read your blog with expectancy - thanks. When I start expecting things I usually am disappointed or disappoint. Thanks for making me think about the joy of expectancy.
The thought that just popped into my head was when Jesus asked some of his friends to watch and pray with Him in the garden the night He was betrayed. I wonder if He had expectations that they would pray with him? It seems He may have, from His response. I would propose that having expectations is not bad / sinful. However, it is easier to fall into some sinful action/attitude when those expectation aren't met vs living in more of an expectant mindset.
Jesus didn't sin in his response, but was it, pehaps, more of a temptation for him, if his expectations weren't met? Idk... but I still like the concept of expectations vs expectancy.
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