I'm positive about some negatives...

Okay. Confession time.

I missed a credit card payment.

Do you know how I know?

They have called me four grazillion times in the past seventeen minutes.

Yeah.

I'm not exaggerating!

Seriously!



Two days late on paying a bill this month. Now, here's the thing I've been thinking about....

Why don't I get a call when I HAVE PAID THE BILL ON TIME???!!! HM???

Yeah.

I'm not exaggerating!

Seriously!

I want a phone call from them when I do good.

And it's not just them...

Last night I ask my son to hand me a bag of potato chips. He does. I say, "thank you."

He looks at me for a moment...looks away...and says, "Mom. You could say more than that."

More than "thank you."??

My curiousity is piqued. "What would you like to hear me say?" I ask.

"Outstanding! Good job!" he is animated now, "You know....nice things like that."

"My son," I begin, solemnly, "Words cannot really fully express the profound and deep gratitude I have for your selfless, generous, giving act of handing me some Sunchips. You, Sir...are more than a gentleman and a scholar. You deserve a Nobel prize for peace and selfless acts of random kindness. It is an honor to be served by you and I look so forward to our future times of sharing together."



"Yeah!" he says, "That's better."

Okay.......

look. My credit card issues and chip addictions are not what I want to talk about today. What I've been thinking about is this:

Why is it so easy for some of us (okay....me!) to focus on the negative first?

I say 'first' because my mind goes there [to the negative] first. I want to point out the 'mistake'. In fact, I should probably be working for a credit card company! I have a great phone voice and all. Of course, I would be phoning myself...so that's kinda redundant...BUT!!! I could be making money doing that...so I COULD pay my bill...and therefore NOT have to phone myself!!!! BRILLIANT!!!

(ergh. I need more coffee...you?)

Thought #1 is that I see mistakes and want to point them out. Thought #2 is this: Negatives are funny. Humorous. Let's be brutally honest for a moment. America's Funniest Videos would NOT be that funny if you didn't have cats falling into fishtanks or brides set on fire by unity candles. And don't even get me started on little kids smacking their dads in the you-know-whats, alright?


We laugh at the negatives. We do. It's like we can't help ourselves sometimes.

Laughter is not a bad thing at all.

And negatives do happen.

When I think about this a little more, I believe that part of it is our pride. We're just so relieved that we're not the one on fire (or worse) that we laugh to release that relief.

And, guess what? It's life! Accidents happen. Children make poor batting choices. Cats eat fish. It's like we can't help ourselves...

or can we?

See, here's the thing. Much like a lot of things in life...habits develop when we repeat behavior over and over again.

In college, I was so good at(and used to)using sarcasm, that when I tried to be honestly complimentary, it didn't work out so well.

Case in point: Jill Wright comes into our sorority house wearing a new dress. I say, "That is a great dress, Jill."

She looks at me, horrified, and cries out, "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing! It's a beautiful dress!"

"There must be something wrong with it! Just say it!"

"I think it's lovely. It really goes with your eyes."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY EYES!!!!?????"

sigh...

It's tough! It's hard to change...but I am trying to be more positive.

And you know what? We need positives. If, for instance, your checking account is NOT full of positives...you cannot pay your credit card on time.

See? I can be taught!

But...

BUT....we can't get rid of the negatives completely. Cars know this. You cannot run a car with a battery that's only positive. It.won't.go.

Think about a negative in your life. Something that is not right. It could be something you've done...something that's happened to you...something going on in the world now...think about it for a moment.

Now...how much time have you spent focusing on that one negative thing? Maybe you've been thinking of it the entire time you've been reading this entry. I dunno. Stop thinking of it for a second.

Okay....think for a moment about something positive...something good. Maybe you've just briefly considered it...

think about it again.

And again.

And....one more time.

Are you smiling? Are you relaxed? Are you eating Sunchips?

You know what?

It's about balance, my friends. You cannot miss your credit cards payments continually any more than you can exist on a diet of Sunchips. Accidents happen...choices are made...and we hope for balance.

At least I do. Especially for that poor cat...

Ooh! Speaking of that, I gotta go! AFV is on! And...my phone is ringing...

Never Judge a Bread by it's Banana!

Last night Jacob and I are putting away groceries. As I'm handing him items for the freezer, I hear this:

"Why do we have those in there, Mom? They're gross looking!"

Before I look I think, what's grossing him out? The chopped spinach? The garlic cod? The burritos that have been there since 1995?

Closing my eyes and turning, (I get so few surprises these days you know!) I take a deep breath and look.

They're shriveled up, brown...bananas.

"Oh!" I say, "I'm saving those for banana bread."

"I ain't eatin' it!" says my son vehemently...and leaves the room.

Yeah, I think...Hannah and I will make banana bread tomorrow.

So we did that this morning, she and I.

And I got to thinking...as I was mashing them up...that Jacob was right. They were gross looking at the moment...yuck!

But after adding some other ingredients...and heat...the finished product was delicious...



and Jacob ate four pieces.

Go figure.

And as I type this, I'm thinking...that's how it can be with us. With our lives.

We all go through tough times. Hard times. Difficult times. Tragedies happen to us...and we can become brown, shriveled bananas.

And just when we think that's the worst it can get...we find ourselves mashed...and thrown into a fire....for about 60 minutes at 325 degrees...as a matter of fact.

But here's the thing: Sometimes we are so caught up in our shriveledness...our mashed life...our heat...that we forget that those are the very things we need to make us into beautiful banana bread. Warm...comforting...perfect with some coffee and a little butter...

You, my friend...are being made into someone special BECAUSE of the things that happen to you. Don't forget that.

And don't forget this. Bananas come in bunches. You're not alone. Chances are there is another banana that has been in similar shoes. Reach out to them...

(oh...and for the record...my banana bread is a little nutty...just like me!) :)

now...who wants another piece?

Chuckhole and the Chocolate Factory

The other day I'm driving down the road in my Mom's Toyota Corolla. It's not a very large car, by any means, but it's faster than walking...and gets good gas mileage...two things I think highly of right now, you know?

So I'm driving down the road...and suddenly I drive INTO (that's right! I said INTO!) the largest, deepest chuckhole I have ever seen! It was like a cave! I'm serious! This chuckhole (which I just like saying more than pothole...no offense to anyone named Chuck, by the way!)was huge! And it swallowed up my car.

I bounced out of it and felt a little like a Bond martini (only shaken AND stirred!) and drove on.

Well, later...I was driving down the same patch of road...and I remembered the chuckhole, and when I reached it, I swerved around it.

Whew!

Makes me wonder about some things:

What created a hole that big?

Why hasn't it been filled in?

The obvious answers are "the weather and traffic and wear"....and "the road dept. is too busy putting detours on detours that they just haven't gotten around to shoveling in some roadpack into that pit of despair in the middle of the street there."

Okay...but I'm still wondering:

Do I have chuckholes in my life? Is there a pothole in my soul large enough to bury a Corolla in? Do you?

And when I considered that question...I was struck by all the stuff (the ridiculous stuff) I had tried to...well....stuff into my chuckhole.

Chocolate, for example.

Can you imagine a chuckhole filled with chocolate? I can see that exchange:

Two burly roadworkers...in the heat of the day...repairing a chuckhole.

"Hey, Mac! We got any roadpack?"

Mac surveys the chuckhole. "You know, I been thinkin', Bernie...

(Bernie...Mac....that's funny! Wasn't even intentional...tee hee!)

"I been thinkin', Bernie. We're not gonna fill that chuckhole with roadpack. We're gonna use a little somethin' I like to call...brownies."



Sounds silly, doesn't it? And yet...I've tried to use food to fill holes. I've tried boyfriends...and work...and money...and...and...the list goes on and on, my friends.

A computer in a chuckhole? A checkbook in a chuckhole? What if you were driving down the road and saw a guy sitting in a chuckhole?

"Hey! What're you doing there?"

"Me? Oh, Carrie put me here. You know, to fix the hole."

Even typing that...I'm feeling a little ridiculous. And not quite bright.

How about you?

My friends...I should not be in the road repair business for myself. I believe there is Someone who is much more qualified at filling the soulholes we all have...and He uses stuff much stronger and longer lasting than chocolate...or cash...or a guy named Jeff.

lovingkindness...grace...forgiveness...mercy.

All better than brownies. Believe me!

With One Condition...

"Dad loves the dog more than he loves me!"

My son stomped into my bedroom and repeated himself. "Dad cares about Speedy more than his own kids!"

"Oh he does not." I reply.

"Well sometimes it feels that way." he stomped out again.

I sat there and thought about that for a moment. What was my husband doing with the dog that he wasn't doing with his son?

I looked at it another way. What was the dog doing that my son was NOT doing?

Our dog is a well-behaved dog. Really. In fact, he has one fault. He'll run for the hills if you open the door...and he will keep running. You have to go get him.

Other than that, we've had no problem with this pup. He's a good dog. Easy to take care of...cuddly...doesn't talk back when you ask him to do something. Doesn't make you repeat yourself fourteen gamillion times to pick up his room. Doesn't make that FACE at you when you ask him to stop playing video games and take out the trash.

Come to think of it, the dog's got another fault. He's kickin' my behind when we play Guitar Hero.

No...seriously.

Ah...you know I'm kidding. As you can see, when I compare the dogs behavior to that of my son's, I think that most of us would say, "Yep. I'd rather spend time with the dog."

My son is not 'easy' to love right now.

Perhaps that's the problem. Ease.

We like things to be easy, don't we? I mean, yes....a challenging 200,000 piece jigsaw is a fun way to spend a Wednesday night, but we generally want smooth sailing. We don't want to have to work really hard at something.

Especially if we think it SHOULD be easy.

You know what I mean?

Many is the time I've been totally frustrated by a project that I thought SHOULD be easy. Programming a VCR...making Jello...knitting a scarf. They've frustrated me and forced me to seek solace with the dog.

Especially making Jello. Who knew that it was so difficult?

Oh...maybe it's not difficult for you. Think of your difficult project.

Now think of a difficult person.

Now think about loving them.

Unconditionally.

Regardless of how much they frustrate you with their behavior. Regardless of how EASY you think it SHOULD be.

Now's the really hard part.

Do it.

Love them.

Because you know what? You, my friend, are not always EASY to love either. As hard as that may be for you to believe...sometimes the dog looks pretty good.

But...BUT...BUT BUT BUT...

You are loved. Deeply. Truly. Madly.

Despite your difficult-ness. Despite your un-lovable-ness.

Can you believe it? Do you believe it?

For God so loved the world...

Strength Training

Once in a while, a word comes up...again and again...over and over...making me think about it's definition at great length. Here's one:

Grace

What do you think of?

Saying grace before a meal?

We call it 'the blessing' most of the time at my house...and when my son says it, he likes to add "may we all live long and prosper"....you know...the Vulcan grace....I guess.

A church name?

We attended Grace Church in Mahomet. Several churches have the word "grace" in their name.

A person's name maybe?

One of my parent's friends was named Grace. And I'm a huge fan of Burns and Allen-George Burns and Gracie Allen. "Say Goodnight,Gracie."

My family watched "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" last night...and the secretary's name is Grace.

And maybe you think of the t.v. show "Will and Grace"....or the song "Amazing Grace"...

maybe...like me...sometimes you're thinking about the 'grace period' you've got with your credit card bill.

Or you've watched "Dancing with the Stars" and thought, "My, I had no idea that Emmet Smith could be so graceful!"

Maybe you've said, "There, but for the grace of God"....

Or perhaps, (again...like me!)...you're watching PBS and someone British says, "Your Grace"...with that way cool accent.

Okay...so maybe you're not like me watching PBS....but I'd venture a guess and say that we've all used the word "Grace" in several different ways...and I'm wondering if you've considered what it means.

Could you tell someone what "Grace" is?

It's all the things I've just listed...and more.

Oh...and before I forget....thank you for gracing me with your presence today... now let's look more closely at this word "grace".

As a noun -

1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2.a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.
3.favor or good will.
4.a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior: It was only through the dean's grace that I wasn't expelled from school.
5.mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace.
6.favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.
7.an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied: The life insurance premium is due today, but we have 31 days' grace before the policy lapses. Compare grace period.
8.Theology.
a.the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b.the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
c.a virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces.
d. Also called state of grace. the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.
9.moral strength: the grace to perform a duty.
10.a short prayer before or after a meal, in which a blessing is asked and thanks are given.
11.(usually initial capital letter) a formal title used in addressing or mentioning a duke, duchess, or archbishop, and formerly also a sovereign (usually prec. by your, his, etc.).
12.Graces, Classical Mythology. the goddesses of beauty, daughters of Zeus and Eurynome, worshiped in Greece as the Charities and in Rome as the Gratiae.

Wow. That's a lot of information, isn't it? Gotta love dictionary.com....

#8. caught my eye as I read through those. "the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God."

Yeah, I've heard that. I know about that. There's nothing I can do to earn it. It's a gift.

Good stuff to remember. But look at the next line.

"The Spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them."

I don't know about you...but there are times when I do NOT feel strong. When I can't handle the weight of the world any longer. When I could use some strengthening. When I think I'm at my weakest...the Bible has references to grace and it says "full of grace"....or "abounding in grace"..."more grace is given". It's like there's more than enough to go around. Plenty for me and for you.

Good to know. Reminds me of another reference to grace:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

I don't know about you....but I feel stronger already! Grace to you, my friends...

Oooooh...I hear laughter in the rain...

Early this morning I was dreaming. I was dreaming that I was sleeping and there was this incredible storm with a lot of thunder and lightning. Oh. Wait.

That wasn't a dream. That WAS my early morning.

The thunder woke me up first. Then the lightning. I lay there in bed...listening to the storm...and began to almost subconsciously count "one one thousand....two one thousand" as soon as the lightning struck...and then stop when I heard the thunder. So I could tell how many miles away the storm was from me. Do you do that? I'm not even sure when I began to count miles...but I've been doing it for like, forever.

Why I count is something that also baffles me. I think I like the reassurance of 'counting' the storm away after it hits. 'Four miles away....now five...now seven.' It calms me down.

Wasn't calming the dog down, however. I felt this pawing at the bed in the middle of the storm and realized that Nina (my mom's dog who lives with us now) was very frightened. So I got up with her, and let Steve sleep...and she and I made the coffee, visited the 'little girl's room' and sat down to watch some early morning tv. Which consisted of weather updates...and paid programming ads.

As I'm flipping thru our thirteen channels (yeah, we don't have cable tv...we still think it's 1970 here in Seymour!!) to find something to watch-I land on a portion of the Carol Burnett Show.

"EXCELLENT!" I say...scaring the dog and some sparrows from a tree. I LOVE THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW! Funny Stuff.

Well, it was an ad for this DVD collection for the show. I sat there and watched the snippets...and laughed...and seriously considered actually buying something from a tv ad for the first...er, third....um (don't forget the Ronco Pocket Fisherman!) seventh time in my life.

I love to laugh. I mean, who doesn't, right? But lately....I haven't felt much like laughing.

So I sat there and smiled as I watched. And it occurred to me that I would make up a list of Twenty Five Things Guaranteed to Make Carrie Laugh.

Here they are. For your amusement. In no particular order:

25. Dogs eating peanut butter.

24. John Candy.

23. John Candy eating peanut butter. (okay...I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. Actually, I don't believe I've seen him do that. Although I'd bet the farm that he could make me laugh doing it.)

22. Old people dancing.

21. Little kids dancing.

20. Dogs dancing. (well, let's face it. Dogs doing anything 'human' is pretty funny.)

19. Daffy Duck cartoons. (when his bill falls off....heeheehee...hysteria ensues....hahaha!)

18. A well told joke.

17. A badly told joke. (Badly told? Is that right? It sounds weird.)

16. Clown cannibals. (I myself have never cared for clowns. They taste funny. *crickets chirping* sigh....well...it makes me laugh!)

15. Good impersonators. (where'd Rich Little go? When did that humor stop? I know Fred Travelina did some too....but man, I love it when someone can impersonate someone else....cracks me up. Johnny D and Drew rule in that area!!! :) )

14. John Cleese. (Anything that man does makes me laugh. I adore him.)

13. Danny Kaye. (same thing. I love his work. He's so funny!!)

12. Calvin and Hobbes.

11. Baby Blues.

10. Any of the funnies, really. (Except Prince Valiant and the Phantom. Oddly enough, I rarely smile at those when I read them. OH! And I've never cared for Frank and Earnest. They frustrate me...but that's an entirely different list....!)

9. Jacob's giggle. (I'd bottle it and sell it if I could. Again, another laugh guarantee. It's infective. You can't NOT laugh when Jacob laughs. Seriously.)

8. Hannah's stories. (it's actually not the stories that are funny, necessarily...but the WAY that Hannah tells a story is soooo comedic. I wonder where she gets that from??? Certainly not from me...I still have mine!)

7. Monkeys. (monkeys are funny. And I don't. know. why.)

6. The Monkees. (are also funny. And I do. know. why. Mickey Dolenz. Plain and simple. The guy had it going on!!!)

5. Blooper and outtake reels. (when actors crack up and can't get through the line...I laugh. Every time.)

4. Humor from people I don't 'expect' it from. (nothing makes me laugh harder than 'traditionally unfunny people' saying or doing something hysterical or witty.)

3. Real Men of Genius commercials. (beer is sooooo funny. Until, that is....someone gets hurt. Or drunk dialed. Which, actually, is sometimes pretty humorous...)

2. The Carol Burnett Show. (well, I'd feel stupid if I left it off the list!)

1. Making faces at myself in a mirror. (it's therapeutic. Really!)

So there you go. 25 things. That make Carrie Laugh. Good to remember. Now go make up your own list. I'd love to hear about it...