Because I'm Worth It...Priceless

I don't know about you...but the media is killin' me with all the economy talk.

Seriously. I find myself thinking I was back in "Little House on the Prairie" times...that it would just be easier to get by these days with a horse...milkin' my own cow and making my own clothes. That it would be easier to not have to wrestle with school activity fees...and messing with school fundraisers...and trying to deal with where my money goes.

And people.

Sigh.

People in need.

And I gotta tell you...it's difficult for me to find the 'extra money' to give to 'people in need'...when I'm trying to figure out my own stuff, you know??!!

Maybe I'm a 'people in need'...

And then there are the needy people in my life.

Do you know what I'm talking about? These folks don't necessarily need my money.

Relationships. They can cost so much...we try to save a little time for ourselves and someone comes along and charges us extra. We invest in our children's lives...our friendships...because we know that they're worth something and I value my relationships greatly.

Wow. Is the tv on? Do you hear all that money talk?

Here. I'll help you out.

Relationships. They can cost so much...we try to save a little time for ourselves and someone comes along and charges us extra. We invest in our children's lives...our friendships...because we know that they're worth something and I value my relationships greatly.

People...relationships....are not a commodity. Donald Miller talks about that some in his book, "Blue Like Jazz".

It's hard to talk about people and not use those words. See, I think you're valuable. But valuable is a 'money' word. I can want you to realize how much you're worth. But again...a cash amount seems to be appropriate here.

You're actually not valuable.

You're invaluable.

Dictionary.com says invaluable is an adjective describing something that is "beyond calculable or appraisable value".

Can't even buy life insurance for you...because you're beyond dollar amounts! :)

Do you understand that?

Do you realize how much you matter?? How rare you are? What a find you could be?

It's big stuff. Just like the stock market news...I find it difficult to wrap my brain around...

You matter to me. You matter to God. You need to matter to yourself...

and other people need to matter to you.

Because we're all invaluable. Each one of us. From babies who can't seem to sleep thru the night to great grandmas that don't remember our names anymore. From our best friend to our worst enemy.

All invaluable. All matter.

It is so easy, my friends, to calculate our relationships. To determine what the 'fair amount' is on our time...our effort...what our 'payback' will be...

I do it. I'm sure you do it as well. I don't want to reach out to this person or that person because it's not worth the investment...

or...

or we don't think we're worth the investment. We become martyrs...giving so much of our 'cashflow' to others that our account is 'empty' or 'overdrawn'...and we don't take care of ourselves because we've put ourself last.

You, my friend, are more than a dollar sign to me. You're like a great piece of art...or furniture...or that ages old quilt. You're priceless...

and you can...um...take that to the bank.

Busdriver! MOVE THAT COUCH!

It's been noisy at my house lately. Dictionary.com (my lil buddy!) says that "noisy" is defined as: Making a noise, esp. a loud sound; clamorous; vociferousem>emturbulent; boisterous; as, the noisy crowd.

Hm. Vociferous, by the way...is my "word for the day"...and I will try to use it at least twice (most likely using it incorrectly! Just because I like the sound of the word!). Vociferous means: conspicuously and offensively loud; given to vehement outcry

Offensively loud. Yeah....I think vociferous describes my situation to a tee.

Here's the deal though. My house isn't noisy in the "neighbors are gonna call the cops" kind of way. It's more of an internal thing.

In fact, I've been considering Feng Shui as a way to 'fix the problem'. Dictionary.com (again!) tells me that Feng Shui is: the Chinese art or practice of creating harmonious surroundings that enhance the balance of yin and yang, as in arranging furniture or determining the siting of a house.

I think "yin" and "yang" might be "Hannah" and "Jacob" in Chinese. Or maybe "Shut" and "Up"...or perhaps it means "gin" and "tonic". I'm not quite sure...

I do, however, wonder if it would really work. If I moved my couch over three inches and placed a red pillow in the room somewhere...if my yin and yang would be balanced.

It's a good question. I'm sure that there are some of you out there right now saying, 'FENG SHUI ROCKS! IT REALLY WORKS! DO IT, C.! DO IT!' (You'll see a difference in three days...if not fully satisfied, simply return the pillow to its orignal position and stop making fun of Feng Shui in an infomercial sort of way!)

I don't know that moving my couch will stop the noisiness inside of me.

The Serenity Prayer says: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Hm...serenity is defined (thanks again, Dictionary.com!!!) as:

1. a disposition free from stress or emotion [syn: repose]
2. the absence of mental stress or anxiety
calm, or tranquil(Free from commotion or disturbance)

Okay. Serenity sounds like what I need in my house. Perhaps I can set it next to the couch??

The prayer goes on to say "wisdom to know the difference"...and I think I've got some of that wisdom today.

I'd love to share it with you. Ready? Okay!

(I did NOT just sound like a cheerleader then, did I? Cuz that's...um...scary!)

Okay..."courage to change the THINGS I can"

THINGS...

THINGS (like couches)

THINGS...

not people.

Oh boy. That's insightful. Part of my noisiness has a lot to do with wanting people to change.

I'm soberly considering the fact that Feng Shui has got the right idea...

I can move my couch....I cannot move Brad...or Sharon...or Phil...or whatever Romper Room name you want to insert here...the fact is...that we do have some control over things...but not people.

And here's the other part: we don't really have that much control over things!!!

Oh...I guess we can move our couches...and the balance in our living room might shift...but the Serenity Prayer goes on to say this:

Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Um...not 'moving couches' is the 'pathway to peace'??

Acceptance is.

Wow.

Listen, I've got to run....I just want you to consider today the idea of "acceptance" vs. "noisiness"...

Hey! How'd this pillow get here!!??

Is this a kissing book?

One of my most favorite movies of all time is The Princess Bride. And one of my favorite scenes in the movie is this one:

Grandpa: [voiceover] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Wesley around.

Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.

Wesley: As you wish.

Grandpa: [voiceover] "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.

Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.

Wesley: As you wish.

Buttercup: Farm boy... fetch me that pitcher.
[It's right over her head, so he has to stand next to her]

Wesley: As you wish.
[Cut to them kissing]


The Grandson: [interrupting] Hold it, hold it. What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports? [suspiciously] Is this a kissing book?

I saw this movie for the first time on a date. I was with a guy that I thought was amazing. Just an incredible guy. I was smitten. Seriously. I would've done just about anything for him.

Who was this guy? Um...well, it's been a long time ago...and I think his last name starts with a....um...R? Maybe?

Does it matter?

Well, C., you just said that you really thought a lot about this guy and would do anything for him...but you can't even remember his name now? That's kinda lame. What kind of relationship was that?

I was young.

I uh...I thought I loved him...but maybe I didn't really understand what love is.

And, my friends...I'm STILL not sure I understand love. Sigh. But there are some things about love that I DO understand now.

I think The Princess Bride gives us a great visual of love.

When you love someone very much...you put their needs before your own. You want the best for them...you're not thinking of yourself necessarily. You want to please them.

Such was the case with Wesley, the farm boy. He did what Buttercup asked of him, not to win her approval of him...but simply because he loved her.

And the more she piled on...the more he obeyed her. Without complaint. Because all he wanted was to be with her.

Do you have that kind of relationship with someone?

Seriously?

I mean, c'mon...it's the movies, for cryin' out loud....that doesn't happen in real life!

Does it?

Now I'd like you to consider your relationship with God. When He speaks to you...is your response to God, "As you wish?"

When we love someone...we want their happiness. We want them to know that we care about them. So we serve them. Take care of their requests...as they wish.

Is that what you say to God?

It's a good question.

I think that when we love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength...we desire to obey Him...to do the things He asks of us...it should be our response.

However...I also think that we can "do" a bunch of stuff for God and never say, "As you wish." to Him. Not once.

These 'chores' just become things we check off of a list. Rules that we follow to try and get into heaven...or at least, find heavenly acceptance.

That doesn't sound like intimacy. That doesn't sound like closeness.

It's like...well, what if Wesley just did the chores around the farm, but didn't speak to Buttercup at all? The movie wouldn't be nearly as interesting...
he and Buttercup would never have had that 'connection'...that kiss. Sure, things would've gotten done...but Wesley and Buttercup would've missed out on a really good time together.

Hm.

Consider this:

God loves you very much. But not because of the things that you do! He made a huge sacrifice of Himself so that he could have a relationship with you. He wants that more than anything.

My friends, I encourage you to look God in the eye and say, "As You Wish."

Just once.

Fail

So my Mom had cataract surgery on Monday. Everything went fine...except that she's lost her debit card.

Well...I guess I lost her debit card. As I was the last one to 'see it alive' before it went missing. Without a trace.

(I gotta stop watching so many crime shows!)

I've looked everywhere for the stupid card. I can't find it. Sigh.

I felt really bad. And yesterday, when we realized it was gone....I felt even worse than awful. I badmouthed myself until I was blue in the face...I got all clenched up inside. And I was cranky (to say the least!)...and not really much fun to be around for a while.

Until I let it go!!!

Let go of what, you ask?

I let go of my 'control of things'...and I stoppped being so hard on myself and the fact that I am not perfect. I mess up. I do clumsy, irresponsible things. Not all the time, mind you...but just enough to remind me that I screw up.

I fail.

Do you ever fail?

How does that make you feel? Crummy?

Couple of thoughts: When it comes to God...He is not suprised by our failure. Not ever. When we have a relationship with Him...there is never a time that God says, "WHAT? C. LOST A DEBIT CARD? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER? SHE CAN'T DO A THING RIGHT, I TELL YA! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HER DISAPPOINTING ME? WELL...THAT'S IT! WE'RE DONE HERE! SHE ISN'T WORTH THE TROUBLE!"

(Now...sometimes I think He just shakes His head and rubs His temple at my behavior...but that may be all in my head...I dunno!) :)

Let's get back to the card. My losing the card is a fine example of how we think we have some control over our life...and yet...there are still variables that come into play that we didn't consider in our grand scheme of things.

We cannot anticipate every possible outcome. We do not know everything.

But when we think we have control...when a relatively intelligent, somewhat organized woman misplaces a debit card...and freaks when she cannot find it...even tho she is ALMOST SURE she gave it back to her Mom....well, it's not peaceful. It's chaotic. And it's a good reminder that we're wanting things our way...not God's way.

Recently someone commented about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Was He disappointed in the disciples' behavior? I've been praying and thinking about this particular part of the Bible...and here's what I'd like to consider:

Jesus-disappointed or not (I'm still not sure I've come to a conclusion here), remembered the Big Picture...remembered that He had asked God in prayer that God's will be done...not Jesus'. And when He saw the disciples sleeping...He didn't say, "That's it! I'm through with you!" He used the moment to remind them to pray, to be alert...so they don't enter the danger zone.

I think I entered that danger zone yesterday. And while I wasn't in there for very long...there was still some 'damage' that was done...because I wasn't thinking of the big picture...I was focused on my own expectations and how I failed.

When our expectations aren't met...we aren't fun to be around. We become judgemental, angry, hard, bitter, annoyed, sad people. I was all of those things yesterday...at myself. And it shouldn't have been like that.

Why, you ask?

Consider this: while I was thinking of myself...and my failure...and my anger at losing the card...I may have fallen 'asleep'.

I may have missed an opportunity to be in the garden with God...

Do you understand that? When I live with expectations...I'm focused on me. When I have expectations of others, I'm focused on them. I'm keeping score...and determining who passes....and who fails.

But God...

God lives in expectancy...wanting us to share our lives with Him...not spend our valuable time 'doing' things to meet some criteria that says we're 'good'. It's the time that we spend with Him that helps us to be 'good'...not the things that we 'do'.

My friends, it's the relationship that is important to God...not the rules.