...and again I say...

There's a Jaws movie marathon going on this week on tv. My son Jacob saw the first one and (pun intended!) was hooked! He made us watch Jaws II last night.

Yeah, I said "made us."

So...I've had fish on my mind the past couple of days. In fact, I found myself in the book of Jonah the other day. In the Bible, Jonah finds himself in the belly of a fish. He prays to God. Chapter Two says, "In my distress I called out to the Lord and He answered me!"

This past week I've found myself feeling as though I, too, am in the belly of a fish.

Could be a Great White Shark at this point. Painful...ugly stuff.

So...I followed Jonah's example...called out to the Lord in my distress...

"Hey! You! Life is kinda sucky right now! I know...You know that already. Things aren't really turning out like I'd hoped, you see...and I'm feeling overwhelmed and unamused and really...very ticked off because I'm inconvenienced...and tired...and struggling with my self image...and I don't have enough money and I'm trying really hard not to whine, God....but I'm feeling whiny! So...since I'm so miserable right now...I'm going to ask You what You're going to do about it! So...what's it going to be? Do I sit here in this mess forever now? Tell me what I'm doing wrong and I'll fix it!"

and do you know what? He answered me.

By giving me money and taking away the inconveniences?

Um....no. Not exactly.

He answered me this way...

By making me listen to a Sunday morning sermon message that talked about finding Joy in everyday living.

ergh!....um....hm....I furrow my eyebrows...and call out to God again...again very distressed.

"HA HA....very funny, God! A message on joy. How appropriate! How typical! How bloomin' annoying is that!!?? Look, okay...I'm not really sitting here wishing for a million dollars or a model's body or a 34 hour day. I know what limitations are! But joy?! See, I already told you that I'm NOT feeling that way right now!!! AUGH! You're not listening!!! Don't you listen?!"

and do you know what? He answered me.

By giving me a model's body after all?

Um...no. Not exactly.

I heard from Him because I was reading the Bible. I found myself in the book of Phillipians this time. Or, as I like to call it..."the book that really overuses the word 'rejoice'."

Sigh. Very. Funny. Again. Boy...I tell you, my friends...sometimes I picture God just rolling around on His Golden Floor...holding His stomach and laughing so hard He's crying...as He watches the expressions on my face.

Not laughing AT me...like in a mean way...but laughing. Hard.

Cuz He knows I love a good joke.

He made me. He knows what I can handle.

It's me that doesn't really know what I can handle. Hence my frustration. My worry. My non-joy-ness.

First verse I read was the one I had underlined at some point. Chapter 2, verse 14: "Do all things without grumbling or disputing."

You gotta be kidding me!!

I hear Him giggling. Struggling to keep it under control...but giggling nonetheless.

I shut up right then. Just put the book down and thought about that.

How does that work? Not grumbling? I mean, really? How do you do that?

How do I do that?

For several days now, I've been wondering about that...almost fearful of speaking...because I've been so near to doing one of two things....either crying. Or screaming.

Feeling. Very. Grumbly.

I want very much to have joy. To rejoice.

Joy. What is that, anyway?

Webster's dictionary says that joy, as a noun, is 'the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires."

Uh huh. Yeah, that's me. Snort.

"Um...God? Did you hear what I said? I don't have success, good fortune and well-being right now. So how do I feel joy again?"

"Pssst...(heehee)C....look at(hoohoo)the second part of that."

"what? You mean 'the prospect of possessing what one desires?'"

hm....

"Is that a thing, God? What I desire?"

"You tell me. What do you want?"

What do I want? I want...I want a lot of things, my friends. And what I want is more than just some Santa Claus wish list. I mean, yes...there are things I want...reasonable things...not just toys...or something that is just for me, you know?

I mean...I want things like peace...and I want my kids to have a good school year...and I want to be a good wife...and I want to find some good landscaping plans for my yard...and I want to be more like Jesus...and I want to hire a maid to clean my kitchen...and I want the dogs to be flea-free...and I want the Cardinals to win all their games...and I want to make people who feel bad feel better...and I want some chips and salsa right now...even tho I know it's only 7:30 in the morning.

In the middle of all of that...do you see what I see?

Go ahead...read it again.

We'll come back to that here in a sec. What I want to do now is look at the word "rejoice".

Huh. Will you look at that? Rejoice is right across from Reindeer in my dictionary. Makes me think of Christmas.

Which I find rather funny, since it's supposed to be around 90 degrees today.

Webster's says that rejoice is, as a verb, this:

"to give joy to".

Hm....

Which reminds me again, of Christmas. A little. We give things to people at Christmas. Gifts...I like receiving gifts...but I really like giving gifts. As I get older, I find myself watching the kids open their stuff and forget to open my own packages.

Another thing about gifts? Some of us are good at re-gifting. Oh, they may call it re-cycling, I suppose.

Re-gifting. Re-cycling. Re-joicing.

Re-joicing. "to give joy to".

My friends, I do not get it right all the time. I make a lot of mistakes. I'm selfish...and prideful...and...

And I grumble.

But in my distress I called to the Lord and He answered me.

"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in Him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute! Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let requests and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things that are true, noble, authentic, compelling, reputable, gracious--the best, not the worst...the beautiful, not the ugly...things to praise, not things to curse."

Those aren't my words. They're Paul's.

Celebrate God...help them...don't worry...God's wholeness...settle you down...things that are true.

Things that are true? God loves me. Has a relationship with me. One that is becoming more and more each day. He's with me. Even when He's giggling. Especially when He's giggling.

Paul (the writer) goes on and says, "I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."

Wow.

I want to be more like Jesus. Like God. Rolling on a floor and laughing at myself. Remembering that He's in control. That I don't have to worry.

And I want you to have joy too.

So here I am.

Rejoicing.

...and still thinking about chips and salsa. Joy makes me hungry!