I can't seem to get any of it. And like the Stones so aptly sang, "...I'm on a losing streak."
I CAN'T GET NO.....NO NO NO!!!!!
At least it feels that way.
There is so much on my mind right now. Money, cars, kids, money, illnesses, jobs, money, government, church, money...the list goes on. Feel free to insert your own stuff in there.
My brain is full. There's a lot of hurt out there. And inside myself. It can be overwhelming. Lately, it seems that nothing I'm doing makes much of a difference. I feel I have very little control...and mostly what I'm left with is this deep feeling of dis-satisfaction.
Both with myself and others. With life in general.
So what do you do with that?
What did I do with that?
I'll tell you....
I went where I always go when I want questions answered.
Wikipedia?
Nope. Although I venture there repeatedly...
A therapist?
Huh uh. Not that there's anything wrong with them...
I went to my magic 8 ball. Yeah, that's right. I went to my magic 8 ball and I asked, "Will I ever be satisfied?"
And I shook it....turned it over....looked...
and it said, "It is decidedly so."
Cool, I thought. Excellent.
But...seven and 1/2 minutes passed and I did NOT feel decidedly satisfied. Stupid, cheapo 8 ball isn't that magic at all...I'm not sure I trust that information.
So I went to my other source.
My Bible.
We've been studying the book of Matthew at church recently. So I went there first. And this is what I read in my sidenotes of Matthew 5:
"Jesus promises that satisfaction will come to those who seek the good things of God. He says that they will be filled - not with the material goods of this world, not with an easy way of life, not with something of limited value that can be taken away from them...but with the joy and contentment that comes from doing God's will."
Matthew 5:6 says: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Hmmm....I think about what God's will is...what that looks like for me right this minute...I mull that over in my head...then turned to another section in my Bible. I have a devotional Bible that I have been reading in lately. And when I turned to Wednesday's (todays) reading, I read this:
"What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
I raise an eyebrow. If you do not believe that God can speak to you with His Word...then you are missing out on a wonderful conversational opportunity.
Have I been humble lately? No, not really. If I had, I don't think my dis-satisfaction would be so evident. I obviously feel that I am somehow 'DUE' to have these things I want so badly...and even if they aren't 'bad' things...they are still things that I'm trying to control somehow...in all my 'human greatness'.
Woo.Hoo. Like I can somehow Do God's Job.
I can't do that. I cannot do God's job for Him.
But....
I can do His Will...I can act justly, and walk humbly...and love.
Three things that cover the Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule...and the Sermon on the Mount.
Wow.
And what do you think will happen then? Will I find that satisfaction?
It is decidedly so...
and God told me that. Not the 8 ball! :)
I'm praying that you will find Satisfaction in Him today...
