Does it taste like chicken?

One of my most favorite books is The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. I still remember the day I plucked it off the shelf in Mr. Jones' 6th grade reading class. I read it every so often even now as an adult and I'm always seeing something in a different way each time. It is one of the most entertaining, colorful, meaningful, thought-provoking, instructing books for children I've ever read. I can't believe that it's not required reading!

Why Phantom Tollbooth, you ask? Well...it talks of words and numbers. Of reason and rhyme. Of logic and music and boredom and Humbugs and Demons and Milo. Here's a piece of it to (ahem) whet your appetite:

[Milo, a young boy, finds himself in a strange new land and at one point he is invited to the King's Royal Banquet.]

"Are you ready with the menu?" asked the Humbug.

"Well," said Milo,remembering that his mother had always told him to eat lightly when he was a guest, "why don't we have a light meal?"

"A light meal it shall be!" roared the bug, waving his arms.

The waiters rushed in carrying large serving platters and set them on the table in front of the king. When he lifted the covers, shafts of brilliant-colored light leaped from the plates and bounced around the ceiling, the walls, across the floor, and out the windows.

"Not a very substantial meal," said the Humbug, rubbing his eyes, "but quite an attractive one! Perhaps you can suggest something a little more filling."

"Well, in that case," said Milo, "I think we ought to have a square meal of ----,"

"A square meal it is!" shouted the Humbug again.

And again the waiters bring in trays full of steaming squares of all sizes and colors.

"Ugh!" said the Spelling Bee, tasting one, "these are awful!"

No one else liked them very much either, and the Humbug got one caught in his throat and almost choked.

"Time for the speeches!" announced the King. He pointed to Milo. "You first!"

"Your majesty, ladies and gentlemen," started Milo timidly, "I would like to take this opportunity to say that in all the -----"

"That's quite enough!" snapped the King. "Next!"

"Roast turkey, mashed potatoes, vanilla ice cream," recited the Humbug.

"What a strange speech!" thought Milo, for he'd heard many in the past and knew that they were supposed to be long and dull.

"Hamburgers, corn on the cob, chocolate pudding-p-u-d-d-i-n-g," said the Spelling Bee.

And so down the line it went, with each guest rising briefly, making a short speech and then sitting back down. Finally the king said,

"Pate' de foie gras, soupe a l'oignon, faisan sous cloche, salade endive, fromages et fruits et demi-tasse," he said carefully and clapped his hands again.

The waiters bring in trays filled with exactly what each person said, and everyone began eating with great gusto.

"I can't say that I think much of your choice," said the Humbug to Milo.

"I didn't know that I was going to have to eat my words." objected Milo, looking at his plate.


Wow....

I can see the banquet table in my mind...this big ol' long wooden table...with guests seated down both sides...and candlesticks and goblets...and I can even smell the food! The chocolate pudding, the French stuff the king eats...it's vivid. It's clear. It's almost palatable.

And I see Milo's plate. Full of grey, lumpy, wilted words.

Kinda the consistency of oatmeal...but worse.

Yuck.

Our words are so amazing, aren't they? I mean, in this book they are actually food. The people actually DO eat their words!

Lemme ask you a question.

What would your words taste like?

Think about that for a second.

Smooth like pudding? Sweet like ice cream? Buttery like corn? Hot, fresh, filling like bread? Perhaps tangy...like an orange?

Maybe your words are sour...or peppery...perhaps people make faces when they hear what you have to say...or begin coughing. Or crying.

There's this cliche' that Juster must've known about that says we are to make sure our words are sweet...for we may have to eat them.

I don't know about you...but there are some days that I just want to diet.

Not say a word at all....because it will not be good...or nourishing. In fact, sometimes I think my words can be cholesterol to the soul.

Ugh.

And not the good cholesterol either!!

Choose your words carefully today, my friends...and think of Milo. Bon appetite!

...and again I say...

There's a Jaws movie marathon going on this week on tv. My son Jacob saw the first one and (pun intended!) was hooked! He made us watch Jaws II last night.

Yeah, I said "made us."

So...I've had fish on my mind the past couple of days. In fact, I found myself in the book of Jonah the other day. In the Bible, Jonah finds himself in the belly of a fish. He prays to God. Chapter Two says, "In my distress I called out to the Lord and He answered me!"

This past week I've found myself feeling as though I, too, am in the belly of a fish.

Could be a Great White Shark at this point. Painful...ugly stuff.

So...I followed Jonah's example...called out to the Lord in my distress...

"Hey! You! Life is kinda sucky right now! I know...You know that already. Things aren't really turning out like I'd hoped, you see...and I'm feeling overwhelmed and unamused and really...very ticked off because I'm inconvenienced...and tired...and struggling with my self image...and I don't have enough money and I'm trying really hard not to whine, God....but I'm feeling whiny! So...since I'm so miserable right now...I'm going to ask You what You're going to do about it! So...what's it going to be? Do I sit here in this mess forever now? Tell me what I'm doing wrong and I'll fix it!"

and do you know what? He answered me.

By giving me money and taking away the inconveniences?

Um....no. Not exactly.

He answered me this way...

By making me listen to a Sunday morning sermon message that talked about finding Joy in everyday living.

ergh!....um....hm....I furrow my eyebrows...and call out to God again...again very distressed.

"HA HA....very funny, God! A message on joy. How appropriate! How typical! How bloomin' annoying is that!!?? Look, okay...I'm not really sitting here wishing for a million dollars or a model's body or a 34 hour day. I know what limitations are! But joy?! See, I already told you that I'm NOT feeling that way right now!!! AUGH! You're not listening!!! Don't you listen?!"

and do you know what? He answered me.

By giving me a model's body after all?

Um...no. Not exactly.

I heard from Him because I was reading the Bible. I found myself in the book of Phillipians this time. Or, as I like to call it..."the book that really overuses the word 'rejoice'."

Sigh. Very. Funny. Again. Boy...I tell you, my friends...sometimes I picture God just rolling around on His Golden Floor...holding His stomach and laughing so hard He's crying...as He watches the expressions on my face.

Not laughing AT me...like in a mean way...but laughing. Hard.

Cuz He knows I love a good joke.

He made me. He knows what I can handle.

It's me that doesn't really know what I can handle. Hence my frustration. My worry. My non-joy-ness.

First verse I read was the one I had underlined at some point. Chapter 2, verse 14: "Do all things without grumbling or disputing."

You gotta be kidding me!!

I hear Him giggling. Struggling to keep it under control...but giggling nonetheless.

I shut up right then. Just put the book down and thought about that.

How does that work? Not grumbling? I mean, really? How do you do that?

How do I do that?

For several days now, I've been wondering about that...almost fearful of speaking...because I've been so near to doing one of two things....either crying. Or screaming.

Feeling. Very. Grumbly.

I want very much to have joy. To rejoice.

Joy. What is that, anyway?

Webster's dictionary says that joy, as a noun, is 'the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires."

Uh huh. Yeah, that's me. Snort.

"Um...God? Did you hear what I said? I don't have success, good fortune and well-being right now. So how do I feel joy again?"

"Pssst...(heehee)C....look at(hoohoo)the second part of that."

"what? You mean 'the prospect of possessing what one desires?'"

hm....

"Is that a thing, God? What I desire?"

"You tell me. What do you want?"

What do I want? I want...I want a lot of things, my friends. And what I want is more than just some Santa Claus wish list. I mean, yes...there are things I want...reasonable things...not just toys...or something that is just for me, you know?

I mean...I want things like peace...and I want my kids to have a good school year...and I want to be a good wife...and I want to find some good landscaping plans for my yard...and I want to be more like Jesus...and I want to hire a maid to clean my kitchen...and I want the dogs to be flea-free...and I want the Cardinals to win all their games...and I want to make people who feel bad feel better...and I want some chips and salsa right now...even tho I know it's only 7:30 in the morning.

In the middle of all of that...do you see what I see?

Go ahead...read it again.

We'll come back to that here in a sec. What I want to do now is look at the word "rejoice".

Huh. Will you look at that? Rejoice is right across from Reindeer in my dictionary. Makes me think of Christmas.

Which I find rather funny, since it's supposed to be around 90 degrees today.

Webster's says that rejoice is, as a verb, this:

"to give joy to".

Hm....

Which reminds me again, of Christmas. A little. We give things to people at Christmas. Gifts...I like receiving gifts...but I really like giving gifts. As I get older, I find myself watching the kids open their stuff and forget to open my own packages.

Another thing about gifts? Some of us are good at re-gifting. Oh, they may call it re-cycling, I suppose.

Re-gifting. Re-cycling. Re-joicing.

Re-joicing. "to give joy to".

My friends, I do not get it right all the time. I make a lot of mistakes. I'm selfish...and prideful...and...

And I grumble.

But in my distress I called to the Lord and He answered me.

"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in Him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute! Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let requests and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things that are true, noble, authentic, compelling, reputable, gracious--the best, not the worst...the beautiful, not the ugly...things to praise, not things to curse."

Those aren't my words. They're Paul's.

Celebrate God...help them...don't worry...God's wholeness...settle you down...things that are true.

Things that are true? God loves me. Has a relationship with me. One that is becoming more and more each day. He's with me. Even when He's giggling. Especially when He's giggling.

Paul (the writer) goes on and says, "I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."

Wow.

I want to be more like Jesus. Like God. Rolling on a floor and laughing at myself. Remembering that He's in control. That I don't have to worry.

And I want you to have joy too.

So here I am.

Rejoicing.

...and still thinking about chips and salsa. Joy makes me hungry!

Get Lost. Er...I mean...Found.

When we were growing up, my sister had several skills that I didn't possess.

She was quick and agile...like a ninja. Once, she stabbed me in the leg with a pencil before I could say, "Number Two".

She could make quick decisions. "I don't want to play your game. Let's play Barbies."

And she was also quick at getting lost.

She got lost in the mall one time. She was supposed to stay with me...but she got bored and wandered off. I think we were in a bookstore...or was it a shoe store? I can spend hours in either place...just enjoying the smell of new books and new shoes...so please forgive me. My memory's a little fuzzy here...because all I can really recall now is my panicked Mom when she realized Jill was missing. At one point, only dogs could hear her frenzied rant.

What's that? Oh, we found her. She was fine. Looking at clothes in Lerner's, I think.

And another time she got lost was in the cornfield next to our house. We would play hide and seek in the corn...and go in a couple of rows or so...and then run out of the corn. Only I think she must've gotten turned around and ran farther into the corn than I did.

Or I might've convinced her it was a good idea. I mean, c'mon...that pencil stabbing hurt! And I don't even have to tell you how unhappy I was with her Barbie decision.

What's that? Oh, my Dad found her that time.

Again Jill came back. She'd been lost. And then found.

Recently, Jill got a new car. And it's got a navigational system built into it.

My guess is that she'll never get lost again.

Well...as long as she's driving in her car.

Speaking of driving in a car, I got lost once while driving home from college with a boyfriend of mine. Who had a very poor sense of direction.

Or was it simply a very carefully plotted plan to spend more than 45 minutes with me? Hm....or perhaps he was a huge Gilligan's Island fan...because that relatively short drive home quickly became a three hour tour.

A Three. Hour. Tour.

Now I'm not going to say that the weather started getting rough, but when we finally got home...his Dad was not happy. You see, this was many...many...years ago. Before cell phones were in the hands of teens...and waaaaayyyyy before GPS.

Of course, a simple roadmap might've helped...but Tim didn't seem to possess one of those. You know, now that I think about it, I don't know why I even went out with him in the first place!

But I'm getting off track.

And 'getting off track' is exactly what I wanted to talk about!

It's as simple as turning left instead of right. Of walking into the store next door...or the next corn row.

It doesn't take much.

It doesn't take long, either. Before we're driving/walking/running in circles...

desperately wanting someone to help us get back...or stubbornly believing in our own power to find our way.

Sometimes it seems very overwhelming. We can lose hope...we can worry...we can project that things will never be the way that they were! We'll never find our way out! WE'LL BE STUCK HERE IN FINDLAY FOREVER, TIM! TURN THE CAR AROUND AND JUST GO BACK! WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME? WE'RE GONNA BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE! WHEN WE GET HOME...IF THAT EVER HAPPENS...I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU AND DATING YOUR BROTHER! DO YOU HEAR ME!

Sorry...off track again.

Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Think of what you've lost recently. Has time gotten away from you? Is there a project you've been putting off? Perhaps you've overspent this month...and your budget's out of whack. Maybe you've not been exercising...or overeating...or both! Maybe you haven't called that person you've been meaning to call.

Whatever you've lost...take a moment now and think about it.

Maybe you hadn't even realized how far off you'd gotten. Maybe it's just one step.

And now think about this...

the best part of getting lost? Is being found.